"To love. To be loved." [in Jozi]

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." - Arundhati Roy

A dear friend of mine introduced me to this above quotation on love by Arundhati Roy. Roy’s understanding of love is as powerful and poignant as it is poetic. Her prose is simple yet profound and an excellent reminder that our lives really do not belong to ourselves but rather should be invested in the lives of others. I am finding greater satisfaction in being able to share my journey and the struggles that I have endured in hopes that it will help someone who is going through something similar.

The best things in life truly are free – a hug, a smile, friendship, words spoken in season – can really transform a life. And there have been numerous instances during my time here recently that have confirmed this adage.

In relaying Arundhati Roy’s words to my experience in Jozi, I love how she puts “To love.” before “To be loved.” Her purposeful order places emphasis on loving others first and foremost rather than just being a recipient of love. Being a fellow in a foreign country, it is easy to fall into the mind-set that you are in a different culture and environment to absorb as much of the culture as possible and receive the love that people so generously give here. But as a fellow, I also have a lot to share and give, almost equally as much as I have to gain.

Here is a bit of my personal “decoding” of Roy’s piece…

“To never forget your own insignificance.” This is a daily battle but a lifetime lesson. Learning to be humble and realize once again that the world does not revolve around me.

“To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of life around you.” There is no better place, than in Johannesburg, to be challenged by this. South Africa has surpassed Brazil as the most unequal country in the world.

“To seek joy in the saddest places."
I have realized that happiness is truly a pursuit and one has to work diligently to get to happy. Fortunately, joy does not depend on external circumstances or happenings so it is best to pursue and possess joy and never let it go.


"To pursue beauty to its lair.” As Johnny Clegg has said, Johannesburg is truly a “terrible beauty” that I have fallen in love with.

“To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power.” These words are enough.

“Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." As my fellowship is quickly coming to an end (yes, less than 5 months left!?), I hope that I will never stop “Dreaming. Watching. Waiting” as the 3 prominent photos at Busboys & Poets in DC remind its visitors. I hope that I never, ever forget the ways I am being transformed, renewed, restored, and being created into a better me through this experience and the beautiful people I have encountered along the way.


This is just the beginning of a life filled with wholeness, happiness, peace, and love.

Nakupenda Jozi.